Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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