so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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