five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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