I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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