my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
