sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
