How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it was like eating out sand paper
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
