dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize