i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
