Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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