Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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