You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
