I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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