he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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