that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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