I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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