First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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