she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
