so explain again why im purple
no
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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