Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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