Don't make out with my wife yet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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