I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
