I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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