I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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