tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
