all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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