the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
