it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
