We're facebook friends in real life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
