it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
