I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
