And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
