I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
