he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize