the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
they're like a gay fantastic four
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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