Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
