I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize