Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
