That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
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No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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