Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
