Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
