is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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