hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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