peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize