Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
