I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
A+ Viking dick
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
