I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
