I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
