Please, let me fuck your mom
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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