i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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