Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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