8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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