Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
