Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
