why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
