I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
