I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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