woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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