the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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