My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
